Doing it Granny Style

Okay, so here it is 2012, and life is taking a vicious turn. We are yet to embark into uncharted territory. After my last post, nothing should surprise you.

Sex over sixty:

Is it the smile from across the room or the hand squeezing your ass that makes you get all hot and bothered or the hot flashes you still get at times? Maybe it’s both.

Sex doesn’t stop after sixty. Stop laughing because it’s true. The desire for sex is always there, and no amount of scolding looks from your children is gonna stop it. Children, now that’s an issue. Why is it that if your mother or father dies the other half of the equation is expected to be sex free for the remainder of their lives, and why are you tripping? I’ll be blunt. You’re so worried about whatever inheritance you think is owed to you because they gave you life, right? Let me tell you right now that nobody owes you anything, and if someone actually gave birth to you, then you owe them.

Viagra has changed the world into a whole new ballpark. This is good seeing as how erectile dysfunction starts at forty. Believe me, I know, but I won’t be sharing that sort of “personal” information with you. Most people love to talk about sex and seniors are not out of the equation. Truth is, they’re the horniest of the bunch. Maybe it’s because, for most of them, it’s something they’re not doing anymore. Old women in particular are always talking about sex or grabbing someone’s ass. I have seen this first hand; in fact, I had a senior trying to put her hand up my shirt before. I’m not sure what kind of caregiving she expected, but I draw the line on that sort of thing. Laughs.

Besides Viagra, men also are known to get something called a penile implant. I had a patient that had one of those before and let me tell you; it was funny trying to explain it to a group of twenty somethings’. Let’s just say this man had the best time ever because I can’t remember a time it was ever not inflated. He was into the whole self serve kind of thing. He was also the worse one for grabbing just about anybody’s ass. Nobody ever told me being a caregiver was gonna be an easy job.

In my book, Armed and Outrageous, senior sex is not off limits. It’s not erotica, but it is mentioned frequently. Hell, they even visit an “adult product” store.

Happy New Year and welcome 2012. I hope you are ready for whatever comes your way. 🙂


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